Saturday, February 26, 2011

Quick update

Just a quick update, because I figured it was about time...

I'm not quite sure where I'm at at the moment. I have been eating terribly, which isn't so great. But at least I'm not punishing myself for doing so. I have started playing netball again, well actually I've started pre season. It feels good to be playing again.

I'm a bit confused about my love life, or lack there of as it may be... I really miss being in a relationship, yet I am glad to not be in one. I have no desire to be in love at the moment, yet I'd love for someone to love me... lol, talk about difficult to please!

Anyway, here is me at 31. A couple of kilos over my goal again, but feeling ok :)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My inspiration for change.

Today is my eldest niece's birthday. She is very precious to me. I love both my nieces, but I have a special bond with Amy. I think she is amazing, a very clever little girl. But, I worry about her. She is shy and incredibly hard on herself.

Part of the reason I wanted to lose weight was for her, not only to be around to watch her grow up, but to be a good role model for her. While I have lost the weight, I don't do a very good job of showing her how to be nice to herself. So for her, I am going to work harder to make the change. I don't want her to have the same miserable teenage years that I did.

I am printing out this photo, I'm going to write positive messages to myself on it and I am going to carry it around in my wallet. It is my first real step to actually making the change.


If you have any suggestions for motivational quotes or whatever to write on the back, I'd love to hear them :)

Cass xo

Lost...

Nothing more, nothing less tonight. Just feeling lost...

I am almost 31, I have no kids, no house, no partner, all the things I once considered to equal success. But that doesn't mean I am a failure does it...?

Yep, I'm lost.

Cass xo

Sunday, January 30, 2011

A fish out of water...

As the holidays draw to a close, I'm reflecting on what I have actually achieved over the break... my conclusion? Not much!

I've spent a lot of time these holidays hanging out with my sister and her friends, and while it was fun, I just felt like a fake the whole time. Like that at any second they would realise that I wasn't as funny or as cool as my baby sister. That in an instant I'd be that fat boring girl again with no friends and no name.

I'm also feeling really guilty that I didn't catch up with my own friends over the holiday. I just want another week or so, so that I can do that. Hang out with the people who really know me but care about me anyway. People I don't have to try hard to impress because for some strange reason, they love me just the way I am.

Anyway, to all the teachers out there, have a great week and good luck for the year ahead :)
To all the parents, smile, only a few days to go! Lol.

Cass xo

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Another new year begins...

I didn't think I was going to have a new year's resolution this year, however, the other day when I was contemplating meeting someone new, I was absolutely struck down with fear... Why would anyone want me?  When I look at myself, I see the varicose veins, copious amounts of sagging skin, big ears, big nose, whiskery chin... why would anyone want that?  Then I realised that if I can't be nice to myself, why on earth would anyone else be?!

So my new year's resolution is to try and be nicer to me. Any suggestions on how to do that? Lol, thanks :)

Cass
xo

Monday, November 22, 2010

Ten year old licence photos...

I did something crazy on Friday afternoon... I bought a new car - a brand new car - without any help from anyone!  I have never done anything like that.  I struggle to even buy a new shirt without asking advice from at least two of my sisters. I can barely make decisions on what I want to do for dinner on weekends.  But on Friday night I looked at a Suzuki Swift RE4, took it for a drive and signed the paperwork.  My dad has been with me every time I have purchased a car previously, so it makes it an even bigger deal! Lol.

Anyway, that is not the reason for this blog.  While I was having the paperwork filled out, the guy selling me the car said (while looking at my licence), "Can I make an observation? You have lost a lot of weight since this was taken. You look younger now." The photo was taken when I was 21! Lol.  I must have been a very old looking 21 year old, because I am now 30.  I certainly feel healthier and happier than I did when I was 21, so I guess that is reflected on the outside :-) I guess that is part of the reason for the new car... Part of my reinvention.

Cass
xo

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Long time, no blog...

It is "that" time again for teachers. The time where we really earn the "extra" breaks we get... Report writing time. As a result, I haven't blogged in ages. However, today as I went for a jog to clean out the cobwebs, I found some inspiration!

I was listening to the P!nk - Greatest Hits So Far album (I love P!nk), anyway, one of her new songs "F*@cking Perfect" game on. It is catchy and I liked it right from the first time I heard it. But today I actually listened to the lyrics (perhaps to distract myself from my burning chest! Lol). The second verse starts out like this...

"You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead..."

I actually started to cry, well a couple of tears appeared anyway. Guess that's what you call being "touched" by a song!

Here it is for you all to enjoy - however, please beware, there is explicit language.